i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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