Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
cat food counts as protein by the way
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
