If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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