Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Is Oprah even human
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
