i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Randomize
