McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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