Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
