I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
