Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
