Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
