You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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