So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
