At least make sure they are 18
Why
and she was petting her beer can
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Randomize
