Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
