I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Randomize
