There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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