So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
