Jerry, you need to find god
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
How external is "for external use only"?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
