but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize