Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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