And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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