Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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