Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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