SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
