Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
