it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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