True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
