At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
