Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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