Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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