We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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