So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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