My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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