I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize