ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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