I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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