Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
