I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize