I'm gonna have a badass scar
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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