giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
