Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
