too bad you live with your parents still
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
