You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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