Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
It's just like the Real World with babies
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
