Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Is that strawberry winking at me??
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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