I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
