i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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