1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
it glows. i had to have it.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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