There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
