I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
