I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Is Oprah even human
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
