the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
