Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
