just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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