I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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