hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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