there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize