Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize