Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
