oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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