My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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