TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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