Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Randomize
