i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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