He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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