thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
