No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
