Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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