ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize