sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
