I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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