Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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