I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
