Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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