well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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