I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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