I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
did i walk over a car last night?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize