i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
