my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
