glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
