why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
