He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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